"Meltdown on Aisle 10"

For the past month, every time I have gone to the grocery store I have left in tears.  On most occasions I make it to the car before having my "post-store-melt-down" but a few times I have just let go right in the middle of the parking lot.  

The reasons for the melt-down always vary. Three weeks ago, for example, a Hulk Hogan wanna-be-man almost backed over the children in his big beefed-up truck because he didn't see us.  When I screamed, as loud as humanly possible, he jumped out of his truck and began yelling words that I was hoping my children wouldn't have to hear until they at least reached high school.  I was so shocked and scared, I got the kids in the car, sat in my seat, turned on "102 Toddler Sing-Along Songs" and cried. 

Last week at the grocery store, a very sweet disabled elderly lady in front of me did not have enough money to pay for all of her groceries.   It took her at least 5 minutes to decide what to keep and what to put back.  I offered to pay for her groceries but her caregiver would not let me.   If that wasn't enough, as I was bagging my groceries,  a young Laotian boy, probably 16 or 17, did not have enough credit on his food stamp card to cover his grocery total either.  To make matters worse, he barley spoke any English and could not understand what was going on.  The cashier kept explaining to him over and over again what the situation was but he did not understand.  So once again, I got in the car, turned on the "Laura Berkner Band" and had some more tears on my drive home.  

Today's trip to the grocery store resulted in yet another melt-down.  

When I woke up this morning I tried to think of every reason possible not to go to the grocery store.  I thought maybe I could go this evening, after naps, or maybe even tomorrow.    I was so tired from a very restless night with Addie, had a head-ache, and did not want to load everyone up and go to the store.  As I was making breakfast, I realized how many things we were out of so I finally decided to just go and get it over with.  Five minutes into the trip, I knew I should have just listened to my gut and stayed home.  

As soon as we walked in, Kobe and Ellie started to argue who got to sit where.  Addison was also trying to voice her opinion in the matter with very strong non-verbal cues, i.e. squealing, arching her back, etc.  I'll spare you all the details but by the time we were half-way through, I was ready to leave my kids in the cart, go into the walk-in beer cooler, shut the door and begin drinking very heavily.  

As I was counting slowly backwards from 10, I was startled by a lady who came up from behind me and said, "Excuse me mam."   I was so scared as I just knew we were going to get kicked out of the store for throwing fruit-snack and cheese stick wrappers everywhere.  "I have passed by you several times while shopping today."  ("Here we go!" I'm thinking to myself.) "And I just want you to know," she continued "that it is so nice to hear a mom speak kind and lovingly to her children.  I can tell just from the things I have heard you say that you must be a very sweet mom and your children are really lucky.  Keep up the good work.  We need more moms like you around."  When she first began saying these things I had to look around to make sure she was actually talking to me.  After I realized that I was the only other mom around, I had to restrain myself from hugging her.  My eyes welled up with tears and I once again began to cry.  I thanked her and told her that she had no idea how much I had needed to hear that at that very moment.  

Once again, I got into the car and drove away from the grocery store with tears running down my cheeks.  But this time, I was also smiling too.